Here is why it is so important to talk about Self Trust:
Self Trust is one of the - if not THE most important - corner stone for you and everyone to know that you can handle any experience that is coming your way. It is imperative to have if you want to move forward in life and to be able to build the life of your dreams.
If you have Self Trust, then you are okay with making mistakes because you can handle the feedback, the setbacks and it does not bother you to be judged for what you stand for. You will also have beautiful relationships where everything can be said, where everyone is allowed to share their opinions freely. There is reciprocal respect. There is fun and laughter. Everyone takes themselves lightly and is okay to joke about themselves. You are adventurous because you just know that you can handle the uncertainty that the adventure is bringing with it. And that is exactly what 'turns you on', the feeling of the suspense of the unknown. Nothing scares you off because of your faith in yourself.
Are you getting the picture of how wonderful life can be if you trust yourself?
Self Trust in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is described as 'great faith in oneself and one's abilities.
Interesting fact is that self trust in the form of self esteem shows up in the 18th Century in the writings of David Hume. The Scottish thinker says then already that it is important to think well of oneself because it enables people to explore their full potential. Wow, pretty forward thinking for the 18th Century!!! Don't you think so?
Well, today we talk about it a lot because unfortunately the way our society is going, shows that we are more and more lacking Self Trust. That does not only show within family units, but it shows globally. Because one of the major signs of lack of Self Trust is CONTROL. Control is a means for leaders, even governments to keeping a system together on the outside. On the inside, no one can handle what might happen and if one speaks his mind, he will be judged or shut down because of anxiety of what might happen. I would even go further and say that the kind of sheep mentality in people's thinking that is happening globally is a sign of Lack of Trust. Rather than standing up for one's own thinking it is more comfortable to just run with the masses. At least you are not standing out and don't have to worry about controversy or rejection or judgement.
Well, let's not go there, let's stay within the smaller units and look at your own Self Trust, how it might show up in your life:
Like I said before, the quality of your relationships with others is a sign of either low or high Self Trust and that also includes your intimate relationships. It might show up in your finances and in your job, in fact everywhere in your life.
To find out why you have a certain relationship with Self Trust you have to go back into your childhood. It all comes down to how 'your tribe' (i.e. your family) handled your needs, boundaries and emotions. If you were denied any of these basic building blocks of self esteem, then you are very likely to be low in Self Trust. And you might have even developed some kind of addiction. Usually you are not aware of the fact that it goes all the way back to your childhood. For me it was very similar. I thought that I had a wonderful childhood - and I really did and am forever thankful to my parents for it -. What I mean by that though is, that my parents like every other parents including myself had to deal with 'their stuff' that they have been dragging around from their ancestors and did not know any better. As an adult though I am now responsible to change the meaning of certain past events to a more beneficial one so that I can build on my Self Trust. And the same goes for you.
And I know all too well that it is difficult to do by yourself, so if you need a helping hand, I am always here for you. Because I have been there and done it and know how much it takes to work on oneself. In the meantime let me give you some pieces of advise on how you can already start working on and by yourself to rebuilding your Self Trust:
- Value yourself enough to make a date with yourself.
- Stick to it.
- Keep your promises to yourself (My mentor Sharon Pearson once said, 'Every time you break a promise, you kill a fairy')
- Celebrate your wins
- Keep your mind blank which means 'Don't procrastinate'. Everything that you put off, is clouding your mind. And as they say, 'What you resist, persists'.
- Keep track of your success.
- At the end of each day ask yourself if you did something to move closer to building your Self Trust.
And here some questions that you can ask yourself to have an indication on where you are sitting right now in terms of Self Trust:
What is your relationship with mistakes?
Do you fail forward, fast and often? If you don?t it is key for you not trusting yourself.
Do you welcome and love feedback? Or are you defensive and shutting down?
Look at the quality of your life: What is your relationship with your finances and wealth creation?
Another indicator is the quality of your relationships. Do you have wonderful relationships with people who love you and care for you the way you are or do you have to be someone else?
Have you trained people to accept you when you are wearing your mask instead of when you express what you really feel?
Beautiful relationships have reciprocity where you respect other people?s boundaries, needs and emotions and you do the same.
What?s your relationship with adventure? Do you have fear and do it anyway?
What is your relationship with risk? Every success is built on mistakes!
Where does your lack of trust come from? What do you need to trust yourself?
And as I said before, if you would like a helping hand, please send me an email and let's connect.
Love, Andrea
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