Self Denial and it's consequences - The Roles you play behind the Mask
By denying yourself, you established a False Self by taking on a role within your family. You did not choose which role to play but it is the system that decided your role. The purpose of taking on a role was to hold the system you grew up in together.
If your family was functional there was spontaneity, uniqueness and feelings. You were able to be the hero one day and able to receive support the next. And you were allowed to express your emotions freely without being judged for it.
If your family was dysfunctional, roles were to maintain control and it destroyed any kind of spontaneity, uniqueness and feelings. Because you were being judged when you displayed your emotions, you shut down. And you came to think that a particular role is your identity.
And if you have watched my previous video, then you know that I am talking about the CRUST that you have built around you, the mask behind which you are most likely still hiding to this day. The mask which costs you heaps of your so valuable energy.
Let me mention and explain some of the roles briefly because I am sure you get the picture and will soon come to the realization of which roles you were and are still playing:
Explanation of the different roles:
The scenario is, people arguing: How do the different roles react?
The HERO gets into the conversation and makes sure that the right conclusion is reached and that the argument is settled.
The PEOPLE PLEASER rushes in to smooth things over and makes sure that nobody experiences discomfort.
The JOKER rushes in and tries to distract everyone by throwing in a joke.
The GOOD GIRL/ROBOT rushes in to offer a loving solution and then offers cake.
The CARETAKER rushes in and offers his/her support prioritising others over him/herself.
These are just some examples of roles. There are many more and you might give your role a different name.
The question now is, how do you get the hang of what roles you were or still are playing and how can you find a balance between them?
Because the idea is not to get rid of a role but to be able to move in between the roles as each moment requires it. Because each role has within it some wonderful qualities that we can admire, keep and treasure. It is about finding out what we love about each role and how it supports our Unique Self. Sharon Pearson from The Coaching Institute says, ?If you are stuck in a role, you are unhappy. If you can dance amongst the roles, you are joy?
The role?s purpose is ?Protection?.
And then the next question to ask yourself is, who would you be if you were not playing that role?
And the third question is, how much energy do you put into your TRUE SELF and how much energy do you put into the ROLE you are playing?
Now I want you to imagine for one moment what it would give you to always be true to yourself (and I mean your Core Self here), rather than wasting precious energy on the role that you are playing?
Isn?t it right that if you were 100 % true to yourself then you would be able to use ALL your wonderful energy for yourself which means you would then be able to bring your vision into reality. That would make you an individual who is on the right path to experiencing Passion, Fulfilment, Self-Love and Life?s Purpose and most importantly you would experience Self Acceptance.
Love,
Andrea
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