Self Denial - The Secret of how to rebuild Self Trust in 6 Simple Steps
The reason why I have chosen for you to explore your relationship with Self Trust is because Self Trust is the cornerstone for you to have the Trust in yourself to know that you can handle any experience of ambiguity, uncertainty or the unknown.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe says, that 'as soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live'.
Once you have Trust in yourself again, a lot of the other pieces in your life will fall into place as if by magic.
Anything that replaces Trust in yourself is actually a denial of your Inner World needs and becomes an addiction.
If you are someone with low levels of Self Trust you might find it hard to have good trusting relationships. Whatever your partner is doing, you are always suspicious of him/her doing the wrong thing. In reality, all they do is their job and come home to be with you. It is you who are reading all sorts of wrong things into the relationship which down the track will slowly but surely erode your relationship all together.
Are your relationships reciprocal or are your being used?
Are you a person wanting to control others? Does everyone always have to do what you say? That can also play out in your work life. If you are a person with a tendency to micromanaging, then you are very likely a person low in Self Trust.
Are you quick in judging others? If yes, by doing so you are diverting from your own insecurities which are a sign of lack of Self Trust.
Are you addicted to certain things, whether it is shopping, over eating, Netflix??
Are you comfortable sharing your opinion, even if it means you are going against the herd?
The Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines Self Trust as ?Great Faith in oneself and one?s abilities?.
The good thing is, that all is not lost. I you are lacking Self Trust now, that does not mean that it has to stay that way. You can work on gaining trust in yourself back.
And here are some steps on
1. Keep promises to yourself (My mentor Sharon Pearson once said, ?Every time you break a promise, you kill a fairy?) ? aim for goals small enough so that you know you can keep them. (f.ex. exercise ? start with only 15 min/day)
2. Take time out for yourself ? schedule ?YOU? time in your calendar if necessary.
3. Watch your Self-Talk ? Be aware of how you speak to yourself. If it is negative, correct yourself and say something positive, soothing about yourself. Acknowledge yourself for little improvements. One step at a time.
4. Exercise Mindfulness ? As I am using Evidence-based Coaching in my practice, I want you to know that there is stacks of research on how practicing mindfulness can help you with increasing your Wellbeing.
5. Celebrate your wins
6. Journal at the end of the day and ask yourself how you went with Self Trust during the day. Notice the areas where you let yourself down and work on making it better the next day.
Regaining Self-Trust is a process like everything else in life. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself.
Love,
Andrea
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