Healing from Codependency & The secret of how to Fall in Love with Yourself, PART 2 - Boundaries
In the last videos I talked about Acceptance being the first step to healing. The next step is to learn who you really are, where your boundaries are, what your needs and your relationship with emotions looks like.
The reason why boundaries are so important is because you determine where you stop and the other person starts. You don?t allow anybody to use you as their doormat anymore. You stand up for yourself.
Without boundaries you are being taken advantage of, used and taken for granted. As a result, you might get frustrated, angry, feel hurt and have resentment towards others.
In the typical co-dependent relationship there are no boundaries, the partners are ?enmeshed?.
Imagine your life as a garden. As a young person you plant the seeds and you look after them, you water them. You enjoy watching your flowers and vegetables grow. And there is a hedge around your garden. An when you are enmeshed with somebody you allow them into your garden even though you know they will be trampling on all your beautiful plants and destroy them.
?Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others? ? Brene Brown
Having healthy boundaries means you take good care of yourself. You love yourself enough to say ?NO?.
Fact is that if you learn to set boundaries for yourself, is not always comfortable. People around you might push you back because they are not used to the new YOU yet. It takes courage to stand your ground.
Check out the 7 Steps on how to create boundaries:
1. Have a healthy sense of Self Awareness
2. Acknowledge your feelings and act accordingly
3. Communicate your limits
4. Learn to be resilient
5. Being selfish equals self-care
6. Don?t justify, explain or defend yourself
7. Be clear on what you tolerate and what you don?t
Imagine yourself saying ?NO? to something you don?t want to do. It might feel difficult in the moment. But after you said it you will feel:
- Proud of yourself
- A lot lighter, no heavy weight weighing you down anymore
- Stronger
- determined
- You know now that you can do it and that you can do it again
- You have more self-respect
- You know you are on the right path to Healing Yourself
Imagine the power you will feel within yourself, now that you have said ?NO? for the first time because you are very well aware that if you can do it once you will then be able to do it over and over again. And it will fill you with pride which makes you even more determined to pursuing your new path which means that from now on you are standing up for yourself and you will experience more Happiness, Empowerment, Determination and most importantly Love for Yourself, not only now but from now on for the rest of your life.
And how inspiring will you be for your environment?
Love,
Andrea
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